My mom cries constantly and lashes out at my grandfather, and the stress was so intense I think it contributed to her breast cancer diagnosis last year. I was relieved to see him comfortable in his hospital bed in a deep sleep surrounded by family because it was the way he had wanted to go, right? For at least 3 years he has been wasting away on their couch.
When I say he was comatose, I am not saying it lightly.
If anyone knows how tragic Alzheimer’s can be, it is my mother.
She lovingly cared for my dad — who also had the disease — at home for many years.
Before my dad showed signs of memory loss, Mummy had been the primary caregiver for her own mother who had some form of dementia.
Then, she managed the care of her brother, a lifelong bachelor, who had probable Alzheimer’s.
Long story short, he has been on the decline for a very long time.
While Mummy may not have major physical ailments, there is no doubt that she is suffering terrible mental anguish.
Alzheimer’s has wiped away most of her brain, including her memories, personality and ability to communicate.
I call my mom frequently to see how he’s doing and she says “great! I’ll immediately call my father and he’ll give me the honest real truth and say “he’s only got a few days.” I haven’t talked to my mother in a week because I feel like she is lying to me and not keeping me in the loop. I cared for my mum day in day out for 14 years ( Alzheimer’s) and in the last 2 years I increasingly became more angry and resentful towards her .
I asked her if they would give him a feeding tube if it got to that point and she screamed at me and basically told me to stay out of it. Hi, my mother in law has vascular dementia, having had a couple of strokes a few years ago.. People keep saying what a wonderful job I did,but I know I didn’t and feel ashamed of myself for shouting at her towards the very final stages of her life.
She is entering the latter stages of dementia and has already lost so much cognitive ability.