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It needed to be said, and those wise enough should take heed. Im kind of annoyed at the insistence many bw have that white and non-blk men slay every dragon and fight the powers that be in order to prove their love for us – yet for CENTURIES those same bw have demanded NOTHING of the black male. We want him to do for us al the things we NEVER demand our OWN sons do for us, and the reason why we do so is because we feel we should be COMPENSATED for the white man not being what many of us TRULY want – a functioning, protecting, producing BLACK one. They dont make bm sit and read bell hooks, Womanist Theory, studies on the 3x murder rate, 20x HIV rate, 11x Matricide rate, 60% molestation rate or any of the other negative effects black male sexism and hatred of Black Womanhood has on black women and girls.

The focus on “Racism” with non-blk men is ridiculous in the face of all the UNaddressed bm sexism that black women live EVERYDAY, but never seem to feel the need to be at the forefront of their relationships with black males. To join her private black-woman-only email list, click here.

There were many reasons for this, and someday I’ll go into it.

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Yet bw dont feel the need to champion that cause and place it at the center of all their interactions with them.

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Kendall, who pulls no punches when it comes to telling it like it T-I-IS said this. But the same women who didnt think enough of themselves to only give life, love, support and sacrifice to the black male who has EARNED it, is the same bw who now demand the white man hand her the world. We expect feats of strength, dismantling of systems, and for him replace the image of his own MOTHER with ours as some sort of downpayment on our love. We focus on LOOKS, HEIGHT, AGE and all that other mess that black people use to choose mates and dont even realize that if we want to WIN! Cuz I see a lot of Sistas who CLAIM to be open to IRR but are quietly SEETHING that they cannot get the BLACK man they TRULY want, and expect white men to REIMBURSE her for it through the meeting of ridiculous expectations to make up the difference. Black women don’t force black males to sit and watch documentaries on rape, molestation, FGM, child brides, breast ironing and all of the other Patriarchal madness that black men have a hand in with bw all around the world.

But often there’s this judgement and lack of historical contextualizing black women engage in whenever we have these discussions.

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